Keep Going

Above, is a picture of yours truly. On my back and to my side are my children, Elijah and Lila. It's amazing what you get to experience as a parent through the eyes of your children. I learn more and more about the fragile fabric of life we all have been given. However, this appreciation was nowhere to be found just shy of four years ago.
Before I found out i was having my first born, I had actually split with his mom. We had treated each other poorly in our relationship and were better off apart than together, but a week into her pregnancy, she told me she was expecting. Not knowing what to do with the news, we decided to rekindle the relationship for our child. Sure things were never really the same after the split, keep in mind this wasn't the first time this has happened, but we wanted to see if we could be happy together through our child. He was born in March 23rd, 2014. Four months later, we realized that keeping the relationship wasn't ideal for him so we, agreeingly, seperated, for good. The relationship didn't end in fire and flames, it just ended. This should've been a great p forward in being a mature adult, but I took the break up with everything I had. Her and I had been together for two, going on three, years and that fist moment of living alone was heart breaking. I had my son every other week which helped full that silence, but the other weeks were devastating. I eventually decided that being alone wasn't an option, but never really wanted to fill the void of love. I started smoking both cigarettes and pot, which were a big "no no" in my previous life because my mom raised me better, but it helped null the sound and numb the pain. I made any sexual encounter obvious, that every encounter was strictly physically and never emotional. Most of the women were surprisingly okay with that notion.
It wasn't until I realized that my own self worth was very low. I threw myself at any women who'd have me and drowned out the remainder of my days with a dash of drinking and alot allot of smoking. No longer did I recognize the person I had become. I wasn't the only one who saw this downward transformation. My son's mom, who has known me, inside and out, for years took the proper precautions to protect our child and kept him from me. She never did it out of spite or hate, but concern for me and our child.
Most things that alot of broken couples, who have children, forget to do is make sure the child is always happy, safe and provided for. Once a couple has a child, it becomes a custody battle of who is better than the other. That's not the correct environment for a mentally safe child! If one parent is verbally bashing the other parent in front of the child, just because they don't agree on a little thing aside from the Child's well being, they are inadvertently teaching their child how to hate the other parent. Something my son's mom and I understand is, this is no longer about us. We decided to create a life and we are going to do our best in making sure he lives that life to the fullest and best. I still love my ex, as a person and as the mother to my son. I could never wish any ill feeling on her or her family. Yes, she and I are both married to two separate people and have children with those individuals. The four of us get along swimmingly. We even help one another when it comes to the kids. I have watched their daughter and they have watched mine. We are ALL FRIENDS. The past is the past and our children are the future!
I'm getting off track.
After the excessive amount of women and the drowning of pain, I knew that this was it. This was where I knew my story ended. I sat down one evening and write out a note to all those who I felt were the closest to me, explaining my every thought and every concern for what will come after this note. I wrote to my son, my parents, my siblings, my close friends and finished simply "reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't wanna live there", a quote from the song "The Real World" by Owl City.
Following the note's sign off, I went to my bathroom and swallowed anything I could: pain relievers, sleeping pills, you name it and slowly shifted my feet into my bedroom where I physically believed would be my resting ground. I pulled out my phone ans gave a social goodbye to my friends on Facebook, fell back and went to sleep.
To my unwanted surprise, I woke up in the hospital, a dozen different messages filled my phone and my mom was sitting bedside while a doctor explained that I failed to overdose due to my excessive weight. Yes, that's right. I was too far to die.
Since I had been checked into this hospital with attempted suicide, i had no choice, but, by law, spend seventy-two hours in a stress unit, which I did and met some very simple minded, beautiful and hurtful souls. The food, however was fantastic as well.
Once I paid my dues, I got out and that same depressing feeling crept back over me. I had to do something about it. Thankfully, for my cousin, who offered me company and a place to stay, I got on the right track. It was a slow start, but living with him was the exact boost I needed to get everything in order. I eventually met my wife, a good paying job and our first apartment and ultimately had our daughter and got married. It's a short story, believe me, but it's for another time.
The moral of this story is obvious in its title: Keep Going. Life gets rough and outside forces are going to drag you down, but know that your e life has more worth than what is reflected in the moment. Your family, your friends, your children have to also live with the consequences. Even if you're not struggling, look for someone who is. More times than not, those people just need someone to listen and to understand and know that they are not alone in this world and that they are not the only ones carrying this burden. Depression is a serious thing and should NOT be taken with a grain of rice.
If you are reading this, please know that this isn't the end. This is just the beginning. Once one door closes, another one opens. Who knows what or who is on the other side. I appreciate and give all my love, accordingly to those for my uphill struggles. Without them, I wouldn't be living the life I have today with the wonderful things I have and I certainly wouldn't be the father I am without their wisdom and support.
One last from, again, Owl City, the band who helped me through life's ups and downs come from a song simply and appropriately titled: "This Isn't the End"
"When the rain falls down, when it all turns around, when the light goes out, this isn't the end"
Take one last breath, look around and feel hopeful for the days that follow.
Keep going, my friends

I'd like to not talk to you about Jesus

I understand that religion is a strong point with most people, whether they use it as a crutch to make themselves feel better about what might happen when they die or they truly believe in a life after death because they have given their full devotion to a higher power. I am not here to tell someone that their beliefs are wrong or shame someone for the same reason, but I'm stating my opinion that the idea of a higher power is beyond my comprehension. The thought or "story" that we are all taught during Sunday morning mass or whatever you may call it, sounds beyond bogus. I had no recollection of life before me being put on this earth, but I'm supposed to think that there's something after death? No, it's lights out when my hour glass runs out of sand. My family and friends will put me in a box and put me 6 feet in the ground. Sure, it's a sad thought, but that's the thing that makes the most sense to me. I wasn't "blessed" with the limited skills I possess as a human being, I practiced the things I enjoyed to better them. I wasn't "blessed" with a good job, one to help me financially to help support myself and my family, I went out, applied and received it. My wife's womb wasn't "blessed" to have our daughter, we had sexual intercourse...the explanation for that is simple, pay attention in child development in high school. The same process took place to have my son. ALL these things were not of some greater power, but of my own doing. If you wish to argue and say these things happen because of an unknown force, I know exactly what you're referring to and I'm not buying it. If that WERE the case, explain the scenario where I committed suicide? Was THAT an unknown higher power controlling my thoughts and emotions? No, because you're  told that committing things like suicide is a sin and it's ONLY in this case where i am the selfish one. I survived the incident, but here's where its then reversed once again and called a miracle of god...no, I distinctly remember hearing the doctor say i didn't overdose because my body mass was too large. I didn't die because im fat!
Believe what you want, follow what makes you feel good and comfortable with the one life you have been given, but don't screech and bitch at me both because im not on the same page as you. After all, i believe I have had a disagreement with people and my disapproval of homosexuality.
It's all a choice.
Chew on that, world.

Jigsaw Trailer REVIEW

It's Christmas in July, my friends!!! We have been graced with the first trailer for the next installment in the SAW series, properly titled, JIGSAW.  When it comes to modern day horror, this series wins, by far, in my book at least. I love the story and character of John Kramer/ Jigsaw. It has been 6 or 7 years since we had been given Saw: The Final Chapter and let's be honest, true fans know that wasn't going to be the final resting point.
Now, 10 years after the death of Jigsaw, bodies are piling up with evidence pointing directly the man himself, John Kramer.
My initial thoughts about this trailer is full nostalgia. In high school, these movies were my go to thing to look forward to each year. One, it always came out a week before Halloween  and two, my birthday is October 23rd, the fourth movie was actually released on my birthday that year. These were always a birthday gift to myself.
Now, this movie also looks like they are trying to reamp the series and take it in a new direction while also continuing the story from its original material and I find that bit of knowledge fascinating. It's exactly what this series was needing for fans who started dropping off. Nonetheless, I will be first in line for preview night.

USFamilyguide.com

Excited to start my journey into the vast and wonderful things this blogging website has to offer. Everything here has something I can offer my kids, from concerts to movies. Thank you for the opportunity to allow me to grow with you.

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Cult of Chucky Trailer 2 REVIEW

For those who are not aware, my favorite slasher from the 80's is and always will be, Chucky, otherwise known as Charles Lee Ray. I own both a Chucky and his dashing Bride, Tiffany dolls and I unfortunately have yet to get my hands on their love-child Glen/Glenda. Chucky has been around for years. This year, 2017, we will have yet another installment in the Chucky/Child's Play series titled CULT OF CHUCKY. The thing I love most about the chucky movies is the originality that each installment brings. Each film follows the original storyline and keeps adding layers to this killer doll. Over the last decade, chucky took a turn into the comedic genre with a dash of horror, but, to me, it wasn't a far stray from its source material. I've come to love each installment as their own as well as a whole in the series.
Now, in CULT OF CHUCKY, we have a film following the events from CURSE OF CHUCKY. Nica, played by Fiona Dourif and is also real life daughter to the voice of chucky himself, Brad Dourif, has been institutionalized. Through therapy and a rough coping process, she is to believe that she is the one responsible for the death of her family members set in the events of CURSE OF CHUCKY. Which, in reality, Chuck is the one who single-handedly killed her family. Eventually, in group therapy, her group therapy mentor brings out a good guy doll to help lead the group to feel comfortable with a story that was previously terrifying. From there, the rest is history.
This movie reunites a ton of original cast members from the Child's Play series, including Alex Vincent, the actor who originally played Andy Barclay in the first 2 child's play films and then briefly in an after credit scene in CURSE OF CHUCKY. We also have Jennifer Tilly reprising her role as Tiffany/Herself.
There are alot to speculate from this trailer. My biggest fear is this film will take the turn that the original Child's Play was meant to be. Most people never knew that the original Child's Play was meant to be a psychological film revolving around Andy and his split personality and decent into madness. Andy himself was the one responsible for killing the victims in that film and managed to convince a few people that it was his good guy doll. Fortunately, a test audience thought it was carp and loved the idea that chucky was actually an evil possessed doll.
I hope this method and story isn't poured into CULT OF CHUCKY. This trailer leads me to believe that and puts me a little on edge. Every aspect they are treating Chucky like a figment of everyone's imagination. It would be a side story explaining a bin full of loons coping with ones story, but if they are trying to convince us, the audience, that chucky hasn't been real this entire time or no longer will be, I will have lost respect for Don Mancini and this entire creative team. I, however, have hope that they won't screw us over like that and CULT OF CHUCKY will be extremely superb.
Wanna Play?

Spiderman: Homecoming REVIEW

Managed to see SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING which should probably be renamed SPIDERMAN: THE PIGGY BACK EASTER EGG HUNT.
don't get me wrong, there was a lot about this movie that I was over the moon about, but I can't help feel that this movies main driving force wouldn't exist had it not had iron man in it. It almost said, we can't do this movie without him and that left me feeling cheated out of telling a good spiderman story. Every time peter would do something, good or bad, iron man would show up, or happy hogan, in this case, and fix or comment on what just happened. You almost start to side with Tony stark on how annoying peter is being and how much trouble he is causing.
Aside from that, it's villain was on point. They could've trashed this character like marvel usually does, but instead they had Michael Keaton doing what he does best and kicking ass. Nothing to complain about there.
Peters friend, ned was the worst friend and character in the movie. I, personally, couldn't stand his screen time. I understand you need a humanistic ego to your SUPERhero and that part was being played by ned, but damn it, if I was spiderman I would've webbed his ass in some cocoon and hid him far away from humanity, where he belonged.
Overall, it's nice seeing spiderman play along with other marvel characters. It's good, too, to see him back with the marvel family. I just hope that in his next solo outing that he proves he can bring in the bucks on his own. Can't wait to see how he fits into infinity war.
Cheers!!